N is for Nurture and Navigation - A-Z Writing Challenge

N is for Nurture and Navigation in the 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge.

Proverbs 22:6 teaches us to, "Raise a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." This is stated in a variety of ways in the Bibles available, today.


There are many who will argue that this is the church's way of making sure they will continue to have followers by training the minds of the very young before they have full discernment. It's a good argument, but, I think, limited.


I don't believe that is the full intent of this verse. To me, it's meant more as a guide to help you navigate your child through to adulthood, as well as provide them with a source of strength for when times are difficult.


Nurturing and navigation go hand-in-hand, in my opinion, when raising a child. There will always be those who want to completely ignore anything that smacks of the previous generation. But, isn't this just as dangerous as those who refuse to incorporate the new generation with the old? When adults expect their children to not only follow in their footsteps but, in many cases, continue to use the very shops and supplies they've been using, it can be very stressful for everyone. The parents who treat anything other than total compliance as a personal betrayal can be the most destructive to a child's sense of self.


Knowing a child's capabilities and interests and then helping them make their own dreams come true is productive nurturing. This is the parent as navigator, as both enter unknown waters and the adult's experience helps the child find their way. The adult doesn't do what has to be done but guides through the obstacles and training needed to achieve those goals.  Those goals may be totally opposite from what the parent expected, and that's perfectly all right. It's the child life, now, and with a parent's support, they can bring the full strength of their interest and focus on achieving the life they want to lead. 

 It may have taken a village to raise a child in year's past; but, I'm not so sure we have villages available for our children, nowadays. Families are scattered all over the globe, broken through divorce, death, and simple job placement. Our neighbors are strangers and we dare not suggest anyone discipline their child. The immediate parent is all that's left to help the child's self-esteem and sense of worth, and that's a pretty big job.

In the rapid-changing high-tech world of today, there are careers available that were unheard of a mere twenty years ago. It's a world the child knows a lot more about than most parents want to admit. They need guidance, but not control. They want your advice but they want to be able to choose to not take it without being disowned or made to feel like a traitor to the family.


The nurturer cares for the psyche of their child, making them feel good about decisions about their own future, without pressure. The navigator helps them work through the training and documents needed to help them reach their goals. The control freak withholds information that would be helpful, takes offense at any and all opposition, and enables them to take their time finding their way. And, that's how I look at Proverbs 22:6.

Are you a nurturer-navigator? Do you help your child to navigate through the obstacles of their dreams? Or, do you take offence whenever they suggest something different from what you think they should be doing? What was your experience within your own family when it came to make career choices? Did you follow your dream?



For those of you who have just happened upon this page, do yourself a favor and check out a group of fantastic bloggers. You're bound to find someone you might like to follow. Don't forget to leave some loving comments and spread the word. It could even inspire you to think about joining next year's Challenge, yourself!

M is for Marmalade - A-Z Writing Challenge

M is for Marmalade in the 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge.

Marmalade is my absolute favorite of all the jellied, jammed, preserved, fruits! All over the world, marmalades are made and embellished (my favorite embellishment is Scottish Whisky) and can be added to so many other recipes that it's a perfect food, in my book. This is a pictorial posting. Let's start with breakfast!

 

Make sure we have plenty more for future meals and moments.

Then, some put by

Don't forget the presents

Some marmalade in a cake

And, then, some Marmalade for dessert!

Do you like marmalade?  I think I'll go have some on toast, right now!





For those of you who have just happened upon this page, I'm Entry #424 in a group of 1682 participants in this 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge! Do yourself a favor and check out a group of fantastic bloggers. You're bound to find someone you might like to follow. Don't forget to leave some loving comments and spread the word. It could even inspire you to think about joining next year's Challenge, yourself!

L is for Left Behind A-Z Writing Challenge

L is for Left Behind in the 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge.

Three weeks into December in the small Massachusetts town, where doors were left unlocked and the neighbors helped raise the children, was a long, long, time ago, she was told. Well, for everyone else; but, not for her. Not now, anyway. Not after the memories began to link up in  that last session and the pictures came back. Not when, now, they won't stop.

It was around 6:30 in the evening, when she arrived at the dark and empty house after her Brownie meeting in the church basement. She loved Mondays because she could wear her Brownie outfit to school and then go directly to the church, located just a block from the school, with her friends. She wore a wool coat over the thin uniform, legs covered by Brownie knee socks and shod with cream and red leather saddle shoes that were polished with mahogany paste to tone down the red. Four bobby pins held her cap in place, making sure the little gold Brownie leaping into the future was positioned exactly in the middle of the front panel.

It was a small town, back then, and perfectly safe to walk the mile and a half home. So much to see; so many friends to wave you on with a, "You hurry home, now. You don't want to miss supper!"

December is cold in Massachusetts. During the day, it has a median temperature of 63° that begins to drop as soon as the sun goes down. The Brownie meeting lasted until 5:30 p.m. and she could feel it getting colder on the walk home.  She wasn't worried because she knew there would be a nice hot meal waiting for her. Best of all, there would be no school until after the holidays.

But, that was before she turned the corner onto her street and felt the difference. Even from so far away, the house seemed dark and, when she reached her front door, it was locked. She walked around to the back door that lead to the kitchen, and it was locked, too. Even though it was dark, now, she saw that there were no lights on in the house and no one came to the door when she rang the bell. She wasn't afraid. She sat down on the kitchen stoop and decided to wait. Sometimes, her Mom had to pick something up at the corner grocery and she knew it would be just a matter of minutes before they came back.

By 7:30, she was still waiting and she moved out to the curb so that she wouldn't miss the family car when it turned the corner. It was very cold, now, and she was hungry. Looking forward to a hot meal had lightened her step on the walk home; but, that was more than an hour ago and the cold made her tummy hurt. Covering her legs with her skirt helped keep them warmer than no covering, at all, but it was getting harder and harder to find a place without wind, so she moved into the hedge, where she could still see the street.

She was shaken awake by her neighbor from down the street, who seemed so upset, it was hard to understand what she was saying. "What are you doing, here? It's nine-forty. You should be with your family. They've moved! The moving truck was here, this afternoon, and they followed in the car.  Your mother said your family was moving to another state. Oh, my God, come with me. You're freezing! Oh, my God, what am I supposed to do?" All she heard was, "...they've moved -- they moved, this afternoon... to another state... "

They were gone. They had moved. They had moved out of her house. That was why no one answered the door when she rang the bell. They had moved to another state. She would never see her family, again, because they had moved, they... had... left... her.   Her neighbor insisted she come into her house and take a hot bath to get warm. Then, her neighbor let her wear her beautiful pink bathrobe with the rose on the pocket and fed her some hot chicken noodle soup. She was hungry and had eaten two bowls before she remembered her manners and apologized for eating so much. Her neighbor said it was all right, she could have more, if she wanted, and that she could play with the little glass animals that were up on the shelf, while her neighbor called some people. Later, when she was really enjoying the little menagerie,  a policeman and two ladies came and said they were bringing her to a safe place, until "... it was all sorted out."

She was later told that, when the police had found her family, they were unpacking the truck and setting up the kitchen, that her mother said they had discovered she wasn't with them about halfway to their destination and they had to meet the truck at the new house, so they couldn't really turn around.  But, that her mother and father decided she was resourceful enough to go to a neighbor's and they planned on coming back for her, the next day. But, that's not what happened.  Not, at all. She was brought to the Home and it was almost a week before she was allowed to see her mother and father. They had to show someone that it really was just a mistake.

In the car, on the way to the new house, her mother told her how much she had embarrassed them and that she should be ashamed of herself. Her mother said she shouldn't have gone to the Brownie meeting. When she asked if her sister said anything about her not being with them, her mother said that her sister was happy it was just her and her brother because she never wanted a baby sister.

The little girl went inside to her safe place... until, now.

How do you forget your own child? How can four separate people not care enough to notice she was missing during the first few miles? How could they not turn back? What did she do that was so wrong, nobody wanted her, anymore?  She doesn't know if she will ever know the answer but that's not important. She learned not to expect people to stay in her life and, when they go, she's not disappointed because she has a safe place, inside.








For those of you who have just happened upon this page, I'm Entry #401 in a group of 1802 participants in this 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge! Do yourself a favor and check out a group of fantastic bloggers. You're bound to find someone you might like to follow. Don't forget to leave some loving comments and spread the word. It could even inspire you to think about joining next year's Challenge, yourself!

K is for Kissing - A-Z Writing Challenge

K is for Kissing or Osculation in the 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge.

Hands down, we humans have it over other bipeds on this planet. And, because there are some cultures that don't believe in kissing on the mouth, I'm glad I belong to one that does. It's really a lovely part of moving toward full intimacy. Moving toward...  well, current movies, and how fast kissing begins. The majority of stories seem to have removed all the romance from kissing. Does this younger generation understand just how provocative and soul-thrumming a soft approach kiss can be? Given the benefit of the doubt, coupled with a less than five-second attention span, I suppose it is possible they could forget what they're doing if they didn't just go for broke at the outset and -- well, that's just speculation...

Contrary to current storylines, detectives don't bed new female clients in the first ten minutes of a meeting -- I don't care how good-looking the parties are; they don't. Granted, it does make the show more titillating, whilst stretching credulity, but, I have to wonder at the life experiences of the writer and -- I know, I know, I digress. Bottom line, most detectives I know want to make sure the check clears the bank before getting too comfortable with a new account!

Let's return to romance. You know, the good old-fashioned romantic kissing that made you want more because the kisser made it so special.  Kissing every Tom Dick and Harry devalues your kisses. Splurge your kisses on babies, seniors, friends in greeting, the ill (we all need human touch), if you must splurge – given on the cheek or hand to show closeness and caring. Well, that's my opinion. By the way, if you really want to know whether or not a man truly loves and values you, one of his first kisses will be on your forehead. You can't make him do it – that wouldn't be the same. It's one of those natural things.

A first kiss with someone you really like is one of the most delicious experiences on earth. Waiting for that first kiss can be so delightfully excruciating, there are some people who want to experience it over and over, and just keep moving through relationships. That's too bad, because follow-up kissing can be fantastic, too. And, those kisses you get after having lived for years with the one you love can be an almost holy experience. (I apologize to all the young whipper-snappers who think they're the only ones who can experience romance. Truth is, you can enjoy it throughout your life!)

Oh, yes, that first kiss. Did you ever wonder how and where some boys learn to kiss? From a talk with their fathers? their buddies with as little experience as they have? or, a book? I think some boys are confident and natural kissing a girl, while others need to feel more secure before attempting that first kiss. Wouldn't it make more sense to go slow and discover how each enjoys kissing before assuming that what worked with someone else is going to work for everyone? Did you have rules for kissing? These are my main ones. What were some of your kissing rules?

3 Rules for First-Date Kissing/Osculation

1. Clean breath and mouth is important. Carry some form of breath freshener with you, especially, if you're a smoker. Take a few seconds and take a drink of water or something to clean your mouth of food. Your date can SEE what's still clinging to your lips and teeth, you know. And, if you're one of those people who can't feel food on your lips and chin, develop the habit of using your napkin after every bite or visiting the rest room, after the meal, to check your mouth and teeth in the mirror.  Food all over your face, mouth, and teeth, is a big turnoff to a girl (and, I'm assuming, for a boy, as well).

2. Wet kisses are great, once you've broken the ice, but please don't be obvious about wetting your lips for that first kiss. Your date may not be all that anxious to share ALL your germs. It's like having a sloppy, wet, dishcloth pressed against your lips and all you can think about is the germs that are being transferred. And, if you have a cold, you might want to rethink the whole kissing on the mouth thing.

3. Please don't open your mouth like you're going to swallow your lady love for that first kiss. It's really quite overwhelming to see the top of your head disappear behind your upper lip and the maws of a Great White zeroing in on you, when all you really wanted was a precious moment. That does not translate to a precious moment and you look ridiculous. Stop it. There'll be plenty of time for this more intimate form of kissing, when you know each other...

from FunnyHumor.com

I think first kisses should start out gentle with someone you really like. It shouldn't be the same as the kiss from the end of the journey. If he says he can't help himself, he's not interested in you, he's interested in his own pleasure.  How can someone you've just met be grabby and possessive? If he's really interested in you, your feelings are just as important as his own. His actions are gentle until he knows how you really feel, not grabby and possessive.

Kissing is part of the physical language of love and can be heightened by poetry or billets-doux hidden in a bouquet or a pocket. But, the words chosen do make a difference. Would the following turn your head, if your love whispered them in your ear?

Osculation distributes pathogens,

as has been promulgated.

So, snoggle me, baby;

I'm inoculated!

I think you may remember it, better, this way:
　

Kissing spreads germs,

as it has been stated. 

So, kiss me, baby;

I'm vaccinated!

I think I'd rather have a first kiss, than a first osculation; how about you?








For those of you who have just happened upon this page, I'm Entry #401 in a group of 1802 participants in this 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge! Do yourself a favor and check out a group of fantastic bloggers. You're bound to find someone you might like to follow. Don't forget to leave some loving comments and spread the word. It could even inspire you to think about joining next year's Challenge, yourself!

J is for Journal - A-Z Writing Challenge

J is for Journal in the  2012 A-Z Writing Challenge.

Do you keep a journal?

When I was growing up, a journal was something one kept that was far more exacting than a diary. You were recording your feelings about friends and events that you wanted to remember and pass on. And, it never got vicious -- you meant for it to survive the ages and be read by future generations.. (Narcissistic, I know.) My little Dear Diary (rarely kept beyond the first month, or two) with the attached key, revealed the emotional roller coaster of my transition from girl to teen. And, the spell of keeping a 'private' diary was broken as soon as my siblings would find it and share my heart with their world, laughing all the time.

And, then, I had another journal that was (I thought) kept well-hidden because I never told anyone about it. Nothing shocked me more than when I came upon my husband reading that journal with his breakfast coffee. I felt invaded in a way that, even today, I find hard to describe. He said he 'found' it.

When asked what he was doing reading my private Journal, he said it was his way of getting to know me better and to know what I was thinking. So, I asked for his journal so that I could get to know him better and what he was thinking. He said didn't have one because his thoughts were private. (I am NOT touching the psychology behind that dynamic!) That journal, whilst not revealing my absolute deepest feelings about my little life, was my place to explore, come to terms with, and resolve my feelings, about anything that was important to me, at the time. He destroyed that and I never wrote, openly, in the journal, again. It had, then, become just another job. Soon after, I stopped writing in it, altogether.

But, my point is that an offline journal is where your venting belongs. Repeat: Blogging is an illusory world. You live with real people. There's really no excuse for hurting others because you feel a certain way and compelled to write about them, at the time of writing. And, that's the key phrase, at the time of writing. We all change, as we grow up, and gain an understanding that often adjusts our first impressions. Your online caustic words will never go away and you don't know when someone you love will read them (and, yes, they do read them) and be deeply offended. Until you can prove that you're the litmus test for what's right and good in the world, let your words be mellow and let other folks have an off-day without judgment. Do you really want what you wrote a few years ago to come back and destroy the older, wiser, you?




For those of you who have just happened upon this page, I'm Entry #424 in a group of 1862 participants in this 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge! Do yourself a favor and check out a group of fantastic bloggers. You're bound to find someone you might like to follow. Don't forget to leave some loving comments and spread the word. It could even inspire you to think about joining next year's Challenge, yourself!

I is for Identify Theft - A-Z Writing Challenge

I is for  Identity Theft in the 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge.

I think Identify Theft deserves some more complaining, since I'm still angry about it.

Has it happened to you? Have you had your identity stolen and found that the low-life emptied out your bank account? It happened to me, recently, and it's not fun -- not fun, at all.  Oh, the timing was perfect. I had just made a big deposit and, within 24 hours, it was all gone.  Of course, I didn't know that until out shopping the next day and had my card declined. Declined! It was embarrassing. I had to put the cart aside, full of carefully chosen purchases.  But, they did say they would hold my cart until I returned.

Shot over to the bank, just a minute or two away, and, within minutes, found out that I had just bought some surfing equipment (well, it is almost summer!), $200+ worth of smoking paraphernalia (what could that be?), some hunting equipment, and clothes at Macy's.  All done online. Leaving me more than $1000 in the hole. Grrrrrrr.


Thankfully, the bank said because I reported everything so fast, they'll be able to fix my account so that the monies are returned and any NSF charges are reversed -- but, it wasn't funny. Hit my savings and headed back to the store.  This is all well and good, considering it was a debit card. But, the thing that bothers me the most is that my debit card can also be used as a credit card. Credit card holders are protected after the first $50 has been taken from their accounts. Apparently, that's not the case for debit card holders, even though they can also be used as credit cards.

I don't want a credit card. I don't like them. Why should I be penalized for paying everything at time of purchase? (I mean, I wasn't but it's only because I reported it, in time for them to cancel the purchases.) When I bought my house back in 1990, they said I was having a problem because I had a credit card and that was considered 'risky'! Well, after getting the house, I finally got rid of the credit card. Whoopee! Then, I was ready to buy the house I'm in, now, and I was told I was a risk because I DIDN'T have a credit card! What?!?!?!? Apparently, banks think people who owe large amounts of money are more reliable than people who pay their bills and don't carry revolving credit. It's a world gone mad -- but, no madder than I am, at the moment.

I've thought about dusting off my cauldron and whipping up a good curse recipe from the old days, and then decided that would bring even more bad karma into the world, so I just let the jerks get off with a verbal cursing of,  "May you end up living in your mother-in-law's house!"




For those of you who have just happened upon this page, I'm Entry #424 in a group of 1682 participants in this 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge! Do yourself a favor and check out a group of fantastic bloggers. You're bound to find someone you might like to follow. Don't forget to leave some loving comments and spread the word. It could even inspire you to think about joining next year's Challenge, yourself!

H is for Hares and the Easter Rat A-Z Writing Challenge

H is for Hares and the Easter Rat in the 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge.

It's probably because it's the day after the holiday, but I just couldn't help thinking about the Easter Bunny.  Then, I made the mistake of letting my mind just go with the flow and began to wonder why we picked a rodent to bring our children their Easter goodies.

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Easter Rat at rest after busy holiday

I wonder how many children would look forward to Easter morning, if they knew that their beautiful basket had been brought by a giant rat! Yep, that's what that little adorable bunny really is, a member of the rat family. I don't mind the chisel-like teeth, but I must confess that I have a problem with their eating their own feces to extract more nutrients from their plant diet. Did you know this? I mean, I'm not that fond of my own leftovers, but... Will we ever look at Bugs Bunny the same? I'm just throwing this out to you. Trying hard not to split hairs, here, but, maybe we need a new Easter benefactor? Or, shall this be our little secret?


For those of you who have just happened upon this page, I'm Entry #408 in a group of 1682 participants in this 2012 A-Z Writing Challenge! Do yourself a favor and check out a group of fantastic bloggers. You're bound to find someone you might like to follow. Don't forget to leave some loving comments and spread the word. It could even inspire you to think about joining next year's Challenge, yourself!